Vividly Crazy
by little-mass-suicide
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha landed a job as the secretary to Kazekage Ind., Gaara Sabaku. Everything was going fine, until he found out the truth. Sasuke's now having second thoughts about his job, and Gaara's having second thoughts about his secretary. GaaxSasu


**Chapter One**

Disclaimer: I don't own. I'm broke, therefore its not possible.

Warning: Some minor and major OOC, but short in duration and worth it. I had some fun with the characters, but don't worry, nothing to drastic has been altered. Language is scattered throughout, and so is complete randomness. Be warned. *hiss*

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Caretaker Needed

For non-smoking adult

family home. Experience

and great attitude is a

must. Call 686-3354

"No."

Evening Child Care

For two boys. Monday,

Wednesday, and Friday.

6:30 – 9:30pm. 546-3546

"Nope."

Painter: needed with

brush and roll experience.

Call Tom. 981-2575

Leave a message.

"Huh, no."

Male Stripper Needed

Cage and pole experience

required. For the club _Pulse_,

High pay, late hours. 682-6573

"_Hell_ no!"

Sasuke Uchiha growled in frustration.

He was trying to find a reasonable job in the newspaper, but the last one was far from reasonable.

Sasuke had just graduated form high school a few months a go, top of his class with a 4.0 GPA for his whole High School experience. Of course, since he was Uchiha, he had already finished college by the time he was a junior. He had decided to complete High School just to humor his professors.

Of course, Sasuke felt that wasn't good enough, seeing as how his older brother finished college by the time he was a _freshman_.

After Sasuke finished his High School, he had decided that taking a few months off seemed like a good idea. Kick back, relax. Go shopping, maybe take a vacation, go on a few dates. That type of thing. But _no_. He got bored within the first week. So he took more college classes, and enjoyed them.

And now, here he was, looking for a high paying job to simply pass the time. Hobbies are below him. [A/N: I can see an Uchiha going: "Hobby? *scoff* I _spit_ on hobbies. Hobbies are so redundant that they commit suicide in my presence. Hell, I _am _a hobby."]

Sasuke shook his head and sighed. Picking up the newspaper, he continued to quickly scan through the listings, trying to pick out a decent job that didn't entail stripping or sexual favors.

"Newspapers should not be allowed to print this type of shit. All of these jobs are useless. Wait a minute… $13,000 a month, benefits, insurance included, as a secretary, eh? Maybe this will work."

Sasuke studied the ad with slight interest. "Yes, this could definitely work."

Now all he had to do was find Gaara Sabaku.

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Sasuke was currently sitting outside of a conference room. Said room was supposedly where he was going to be interviewed by this Gaara Sabaku for the position of the man's secretary.

He had even made sure to dress up, a black suit and a red tie gave him the sophisticated, yet laid back look. At least, that's what he thought.

Sasuke's eyes snapped up as he heard the door to the conference room click open. He raised an eyebrow as a lady who looked to be in her late twenties came running out of the room. She slammed the door behind her and proceeded to run down the hall, bawling her eyes out.

Taking this as an "okay to proceed" gesture, Sasuke grabbed the copy of his resume off the seat next to him, stood up and calmly walked towards the door.

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke turned the knob and entered the room, making sure to lightly close the door behind him.

When he saw the man he assumed was Gaara Sabaku, the first thing that popped into his head was that the guy was definitely… different.

He was wearing a pair of loose fitting slacks with hand sewn pockets littering the pant legs, a black suit jacket similar to Sasuke's, though Gaara had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the front was open, letting Sasuke see the white, form fitting shirt the man was wearing. A few wristbands donned his arms, and a black leather color wrapped tightly around his neck was the perfect match to the steel toed combat boots he was wearing.

Sasuke was fine with the man's appearance. Actually, the get-up looked like something that Sasuke would wear. No, the thing that stopped him in his tracks was that other man was standing on the gray, plastic table. Trying, and failing, to do the Macarena.

Sasuke cleared his throat, causing the red haired man to stop dancing and look intensely at Sasuke, almost as if he was blaming the Uchiha for his lack of dancing skills.

"May I…_help_ you?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the man's monotone voice, but answered the question anyway.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha, and I am here for an interview for the position of Gaara Sabaku's secretary."

The red-headed man reluctantly jumped off the table and landed sturdily on the floor in front of Sasuke. Brushing a wisp of hair out of his eyes, the other man walked around to the other side of the table before seating himself in one of the many chairs littering the room.

"That would be me," Gaara crossed his arms and glared at the table before huffing, "Dammit. I thought that chick was the last one."

Sasuke shifted his weight to his other foot. "You mean the lady who was running down the hall, crying?"

Gaara blinked, and then grinned. Really, smug and evil don't mix well when combined to make a smile. "I made her cry?"

"That wasn't polite, you know."

"Well. I'll have you know that I was demonstrating my dancing skills," at this, Sasuke snorted quietly, "and she said that I dance very well. But I know for a fact that I suck at dancing. So in a roundabout way, she was lying to me to try and increase her chances of getting the job."

Sasuke blinked. That… actually made some sense.

"Sooo, I told her that she should go fuck herself because I didn't have time to listen to her spew lies left and right and that I wouldn't have hired her anyway 'cause she was ugly. Heh. I made her cry? Anyway. Please take a seat so that we can proceed with the interview. I have some things I need to take care of."

Sasuke sighed and sat down, sliding his resume across the table to its resting place in front of Gaara. He wasn't sure how he was going to take working with the man if he got the job. Everything that Mr. Sabaku had said had been said in a completely monotone voice, and while Sasuke usually talked the same way, his own voice just never sounded so… _wrong_.

Gaara looked down at the resume that Sasuke had just presented him, and stared at it with disinterest. After looking at it for a few seconds, he picked it up, turned it over in his hands a few times, and then ripped it to shreds and brushed the scraps of paper to the floor.

Sasuke's eye twitched.

Gaara rubbed his hands together and interlaced his fingers before resting his chin on top of them. He looked at Sasuke with blank, emerald eyes before speaking up. "I have no need for useless bits of paper. Do you want the job or not?"

Sasuke may not have shown it, but he was truly perplexed. The resume had shown what things that Sasuke had done in order to make it where Gaara would want to hire him just because of his achievements. But he just shredded it! Did the man just let anyone work for him? Regardless of academic standards and workplace achievements?

"Yes. I do want this job."

Gaara nodded slowly. "Then it's yours."

"Why?"

"Because I'm tired. I've been hosting these interviews for the last few days, and I'm bored of them."

Sasuke sneered before harshly replying to Gaara's comment. "So? What makes you think that I am qualified for this position? You don't know anything about me, what I've done, or where I've been. Are you really that stupid?"

Gaara's eyes hardened, turning a steely green color; his face taking on an expression of annoyance and disgust. "One, I am the person who is hiring. I ask the questions, you answer them. _Not_ the other way around. Two, do you honestly think that I would let some random person off the street just come in and work for me? I am the CEO of this company, I need someone reliable and who knows what they are doing. Three, I am not stupid, or else I wouldn't own this place. _Do you have anymore questions_?"

The last sentence was spoken in a low, hate filled voice, almost like a hiss.

Sasuke stared for a few seconds before mutely nodding his head. The last person who spoke to him like that ended up being paralyzed from the waist down. Before that it was Itachi, but he didn't count.

Gaara, still cooling down from his outburst, got up slowly and walked to the door before looking back over his shoulder at Sasuke. "Come back tomorrow when you have a better attitude. And for your sake, we'll have a proper interview." At this, he opened the door and left the room, leaving an astounded Sasuke behind.

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The next day, Sasuke found himself waiting outside of the interview room again. This time, he wasn't going to screw up. Sasuke knew that what Gaara had said yesterday was correct, and he decided that this time, he was just going to keep his mouth shut unless spoken to.

Sasuke's eyes snapped up as he heard the door in front of him click open. Gaara poked his head out of the room and beckoned Sasuke in.

Sasuke stood up and walked into the room, and took a seat in the exact same spot where had had sat yesterday. Eyeing Gaara wearily as the man took his seat across the table from him; Sasuke leaned back in his chair and waited for the other to start.

Gaara leaned forward nonchalantly in his chair, lacing his fingers together, just like he had the day before, and rested his chin on top.

And then he smiled.

Not a shit-eating smile. It was just a small, barely noticeable smile that hinted at being slightly amused with something. No evil present.

"So, you are here for an interview, yes?"

Sasuke nodded and Gaara's lip twitched.

"You do realize that even if you hadn't shown, you would have still gotten the job? So this interview? It doesn't really matter."

Now it was Sasuke's turn to twitch. He had a feeling that twitching would become a very common experience.

"But I guess I can interview like I did the other applicants."

Sasuke twitched again.

"Okay. Question number one. Age?"

"18."

"Gender?"

"Obviously male."

Gaara shrugged. "You never know. Orientation?"

Sasuke frowned. "…Why?"

Gaara absentmindedly waved a hand through the air. "Oh. Just wondering."

"Gay."

"_Why_ is everyone in this place _gay_?!"

"Are you?"

Gaara chuckled. "Hehe. Yeah."

Twitch. "Then don't complain."

Gaara frowned. "Height?"

"5'11"."

"Weight?"

"150 pounds."

"Hair color?"

"Black."

Sasuke had no idea why the man was asking him these questions. They weren't even questions that one would find on an application, much less during an interview.

"Eye color?"

"Black."

"Okay. Background check complete. Now onto the more interesting questions. If you were in a common grocery store, which would you buy: cheese cake, cheese pie, or cheese _mound_?"

"Definitely cheese pie."

Gaara raised an invisible eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because cheese cake is way too common and a cheese mound reminds me of an ant hill. I don't want to eat an ant hill constructed of dairy products."

"Point taken. Okay, so if your house was on fire, and you, your mom, and your brother were on the second story and you could only save one of them, who would you save?"

Gaara was looking forward to Sasuke's answer for this particular question. After all, Sasuke's older brother was the head of Uchiha Corporations. This just happened to be the company that owned Kazekage Industries. So technically, Sasuke was going to be working for his older brother.

But Gaara wasn't going to tell him that. Sasuke should have done his research.

As soon as Sasuke heard the question, he quickly snapped out an answer. "I would save myself."

Gaara moved his eyebrow muscles.

As quick as his answer, Sasuke's mood changed from calm and collected to completely furious and seemingly very passionate about his anger.

"I would only save myself for the sole fact that my mother is dead, and seeing as how my brother is still alive and I loathe him. I would tie him to a chair and stay long enough to ensure that he would _die_."

Gaara stared blankly at Sasuke, emerald green eyes wide and his mouth open a small sliver. And then he started to chuckle under his breath without changing his expression. Sasuke thought that it was quite creepy, if the shiver that ran down his spine had any say in the matter. Personally, he hoped that Gaara never did that again.

"That was very amusing. Though, I would have to say that it would take a little more than that to kill Itachi nowadays."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the implication of the statement. "You've met Itachi?"

Gaara shrugged his shoulders, his expression nonchalant and a lot less… creepy. "I've met him once or twice. Anyway, since we are getting off topic, why don't we call it quits?"

Sasuke glared at the other man. "Sure. When do I start the job?"

Gaara stood up and stretched before pushing in his chair and answering Sasuke's question.

"Well, you won't be starting the actual job until tomorrow, but you are going to come with me so I can bring you to a meeting with _my_ boss so that he can give you a debriefing speech on what goes on around here."

Sasuke's glare lessened a little bit when he heard Gaara's answer. He supposed it made sense to learn more about what goes on around here, especially since he was going to be working for the CEO of the company.

Sasuke stood up as well, pushing in his chair and stood there, intensely staring at Gaara. If the man thought that he knew where to go in this beehive of a building, Gaara had another thing coming.

Gaara just stood there for a few more minutes, just staring straight ahead without blinking until he suddenly twitched and moved towards the door.

Sasuke frowned. "What was that?"

Gaara turned back to him, and Sasuke saw the muscles move on his forehead. If the man had eyebrows, he would have raised one. "I was storing information."

Now it was Sasuke's turn to raise a questioning eyebrow. The only difference being that Sasuke actually _has_ eyebrows. "In what?"

"My _brain_," Gaara said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm making sure I remember everything."

Sasuke unsurely pointed at himself. "About me?"

"No."

Sasuke frowned again. "About what then?"

Gaara replied monotonously. "Sarcasm, smart one. Follow me."

Sasuke's frown deepened, but he followed the man, no, his _boss_, out of the room.

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Two hours later, Sasuke was standing with Gaara in front of a very important looking door. Don't ask _how_ it looked important, it just did.

Gaara sighed and looked at the door intently. Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows as Gaara placed his hands on his hips and sighed again. He then adopted a rather fake southern accent and addressed Sasuke. "Well, I've raised you the best I can, son. Time for you to face the wild like a man. Go on, then. Be free."

And with that, Gaara opened the door, placed a hand on Sasuke's back, and aggressively shoved the Uchiha into the room, slamming the door after him.

Sasuke landed harshly on the floor, as he wasn't expecting to be pushed into a dark room like that, and learned the hard way the wood floors don't feel good when they connect with your face.

Groaning quietly, Sasuke pushed himself off the floor and shakily got back up on two feet. Brushing off his clothing, he stared muttering to himself. "Crazy ass son of a bitch. What the hell was he thinking?!"

"Oh, I honestly have no idea. I've been working with the man for two and a half years, and I still have no idea what goes on in his head."

Sasuke's head snapped up and he frantically looked around the room. It would have made things a lot easier if there was a light on, but no. Pitch black. And why in the hell did that voice sounds so familiar? It made him want to punch someone, just hearing it.

Out of nowhere, directly in front of Sasuke, a huge spotlight flashed on. Sasuke covered his eyes, trying to get used to the sudden light. After his eyes focused, he noticed the spotlight was directed at a large, wooden desk. And behind it was a enormous black leather swivel chair, the back of it facing Sasuke.

"Do you like my spotlight? Picked it out myself."

Sasuke took on a "what the hell" expression and motioned with his hands. "What do I care?"

"Oh. You _should_ care. Believe me, you should. After all, I am…" the chair spun around and Sasuke was suddenly faced with who was talking to him, "…your brother!"

Indeed, Sasuke was met with the sight of an extremely well dressed Itachi lounging in his larger than life desk chair, bathing in the light of his spotlight.

Itachi waved his arms around, motioning to the rest of the room. "Well, Sasuke? Surprised? Good. You better be. I've been working on that damn introduction ever since Gaara told me that he was hiring you."

Sasuke twitched. Gaara knew?! He _knew_ and he didn't tell him? He was going to KILL him! But first, he was going to kill Itachi!

Sasuke yelled and started running towards the desk, seeing as how it was a good twenty feet away, and then made to lunge at his smug older brother. Itachi squawked and promptly grabbed the closest thing on his desk, which was a five pound tub of lotion, and chucked it at Sasuke's head.

Sasuke found himself on the floor, again, after getting mauled by a tub of lotion. His face couldn't take much more. Shakily standing up again, Sasuke rubbed his sore forehead and glared at Itachi.

As soon as he saw that his lotion had hit its mark, Itachi had leaned an elbow on the arm of his chair and set his cheek against his hand, gazing off dreamily into the distance. "Ah. I am so glad dad forced me to go to three years of baseball. Brilliant sport, you know. Horrible for the hands, though." With that, Itachi sighed and leaned forward over the desk. "Gaara told me to tell you how this company works, so no more foul pla,y little brother. Sit down, will you?"

Sasuke glared even harder, but looked around for a chair nonetheless. The only source of light in the room was the spotlight still, so it was rather hard to find something other than Itachi and his giant desk and chair.

Itachi huffed and pointed to Sasuke's left. "It's right there. Really, Sasuke, you need to get your eyes checked."

Sasuke grumbled and looked to where his brother had pointed and realized that there was, indeed, a small chair there. Walking over to the normal sized furniture, Sasuke took a seat and then started heatedly at Itachi. "What now?"

Itachi nodded and then pulled a pair of thin rimmed glasses from his pocket. Carefully unfolding them and placing them on his face, the man moved a few papers around on his desk before clearing his throat and looking at Sasuke.

"Well. As you have probably figured out, Uchiha Corporations owns many other companies, the largest, wealthiest, and most important and vital being the one you now work for, Kazekage Industries. Uchiha Corp. deals with trading in general. Trading as in with other countries and doing business with them."

Sasuke nodded in understanding.

"Occasionally we do business with other companies within the United States, but usually not. Kazekage Ind. deals mostly with live trades, as I like to call them. Instead of just filling out orders and shipping merchandise, Kazekage Ind. holds conferences, usually three or four a year, and the heads of all the companies that we deal with converge in one place and do business. While tedious and complicated, this strategy has benefited everyone enormously. We have other companies that deal specifically with technology, warfare, and other areas like that. But anything that gets traded, anything that gets purchased by us or from us, goes through you. I just approve everything; your company makes the magic happen. Any questions?"

Sasuke shifted in his seat. "What role in all this will I be playing?"

Itachi nodded and smiled slightly. "Good question. You will perform duties that of a secretary, such as screen Gaara's call, keep track of his appointments, and take notes at his meetings if needed. Things like that. Also, you will most likely be finding yourself helping set up the Worldly Conferences, keeping track of cargo, and taking care of the money made and that everything is accounted for, that we have everything we should and that we have the money we are supposed to."

Sasuke nodded. That made sense, and it didn't sound too hard.

Itachi picked up a piece of paper and held it up. "Now, it says here that you will stat with $40 an hour, and it will rise if you prove yourself. You will work Monday through Friday, with every other Friday off, unless you are needed here. Your hours will be 7:00 am to 7:30 pm. Again, unless needed here. You have paid vacations, and 11 paid holidays. This is for you," Itachi handed Sasuke the piece of paper he had been reading off of, "and it lists what benefits you get and what insurance you now have. There is also a map of Uchiha Corp. on the back, and also a map of Kazekage Ind." Itachi glanced at a clock on his desk and frowned.

"If you have any other questions, feel free to talk to Gaara tomorrow. I must leave now, as I have a meeting that I really must attend that is starting in five minutes. So out."

Sasuke stood up, looked around confusedly before finding the outline of the door behind him and started walking towards it.

"Nice seeing you again, little brother. Stay out of trouble now," he heard Itachi yell to him before he exited the room.

Sasuke frowned and looked at the piece of paper again. Flipping it over, he found the map of Uchiha Corp. on the back and scoured the paper until he found the small square labeled "Itachi's Office". Using the map as a guide, it took him about 45 minutes to make his way out of the huge building. Sasuke found it odd that he didn't run into anyone on his trek.

Standing in front of the building, Sasuke looked at his small wrist watch and saw that it was already five in the evening. Sighing, he picked his way through the fancy cars parked in the lot until he got to his black Camaro. Unlocking the door, Sasuke slid into his car and slammed the door behind him.

Sighing, Sasuke leaned back in the seat and tiredly ran his fingers through his hair. Tomorrow was going to be the longest day in his life.

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**A/N**: So, I have to say I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, and I hope I accomplished in making some people laugh. I'm kinda worried rather I explained some things thoroughly enough or not, but oh well. Review please, I'm actually looking forward to seeing what people thought of this. The second chapter is on its way, btw. So keep your eyes open.

**LMS**


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